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Because J asked me for the story. And because I can’t make a long story short, but I can run on and

Posted by on January 24, 2006

Ok, so Edward tells me that it was simple, and indicated(with motions rather than words) that it was not pages of information difference between the standard(F class) and commercial(E class) license exams. He made it seem as though it was only about half a page, maybe less. I wasn’t sure what was on it, but if it’s that little, WHO CARES? I can memorize that much in a few minutes, at least long enough to pass a test, right?

So I head over to the license office, only to find that it has moved. Burn. So I go across the street to Jack-In-The-Box for food and hopefully a good lead on the case of the missing Department of Motor Vehicles. The $.99 chicken sandwiches were more help to my stomach than the employees in the restaurant were to my task. No problem, the public library was less than a block away and those librarians know EVERYTHING. Itty to the Prairie Commons Branch of the StL county library and ask a librarian, who gives me directions post-haste. I find the place, no problem, park, walk in, march right up to the desk and fumble to say,
“Hi. I wanna take the test for E class license, but I don’t wanna take the test just yet, can I just get the information to study that’s on the test?” slightly glancing around to indicate my expectation that it may be posted on a wall somewhere about.
But the rather large Highway patrolwoman behind the counter in the sharp beige uniform complete with badge tosses a somewhat sizeable booklet on the counter in front of me and says with entirely too much contempt,
“This book. Cover to cover.”
I say, “Cover to cover?” somewhat shocked and sheepish. She responds, still wearing a grimace: “Cover to cover.”
So I let her know that I’m just gonna go sit and read for a bit and I’ll probably come back soon. My plan is that I’ll find the pertinent section, commit it to memory, then pass test, no prob. I crack the book to find information much like what I remember from the driving test in the first place, and quickly find that the difference between F and E is a little thing the booklet calls “Chapter 15.” Chapter 15 is found to be a strange series of tables dealing with Truck lengths, Truck weights, Truck heights and where you can and can’t drive your Truck with varying values of each. And it’s three pages. Whatever. I worked at a trucking company once(ok, so all I did was drive a forklift into things, btu that’s another story), this should be no problem. 48′ for this, 53′ for that. I can’t do this. The information is to impractical and totally arbitrary, from my standpoint. The first time in my life I’ve ever experienced a “When am I ever gonna need to know this” while studying for a test(which I rarely do anyhow).
After some reading and attempted hasty memorization, I gave myself the practice test in the back of the book, did reasonably well, and set about fretting over how I’d do on the real thing.
I walked up and asked how long I’d have to wait to take the test if I failed. Officer Not-So-Friendly seemed slightly reluctant when she answered. Almost as though I had discovered a secret which greatly undermined her ability to prevent me from taking/passing the test, as she would have it. “Twice a day until you pass,” came the reply. I was shocked. See, I thought the test MATTERED. Turns out I was wrong. Now in my mind, the first test I take is like a throw-away, that if I happen to pass, I get to stop playing this game. So I tell her I wanna take the test right away. The test was given on a touch-screen computer deal. It’s 25 questions, or until you get twenty right. Most of them were common sense. It took me to question 22. Too easy.

9 Responses to Because J asked me for the story. And because I can’t make a long story short, but I can run on and

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