Shae – Hi S/A!!!
S/A – Hello Shae.
Shae – How are you feeling?
S/A – Jake seems to think I’m going to die.
Shae – Nah, you’d more than likely die more tragic than with a chest sickness.
S/A – He thinks that I’ll walk around until it’s too late and then just keel over.
Shae – Ewww, can you NOT do that at my house?
S/A – Well, I have to be walking around and I don’t really do that at your house so…
Shae – Can I wear your skin on my jacket?
S/A – I suppose I could dole out some but I’m going to have to have enough shares to go around and you’ll have to do it before Jake mutilates my corpse which he promised to do if I die from pneumonia.
Shae – Jake’s a rad friend. *nods*

I have an Icon now!

I like koalas!

I stole this from CaptiousDuality

Please copy this, make a commment to this post, paste it there, and answer the questions. Thanks!

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What’s the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I’ll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
29. How well do you know me?
29. When’s the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
34. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?

So, what has passed? I made top 8 at missouri states, If you go here you can see my name and the cards that were in my deck, not that it matters. I got a snazzy playmat and a box of boosters, approx retail $80. Plus it was a blast. A bunch of my friends back at the shop were all rooting for me to win it all, just so they could tauntingly refer to me as “the champ.” State championships are not the highest skill level tournament out there. they are actually closer to the bottom. I didn’t lose any rounds until the top 8, where I got knocked out right away by a very fortunate draw by my opponent, don’t really care though, prize was the same for the entire top 8. The whole tournament is just bragging rights anyway. Other equally interesting magic related things have happened, and at the shop, not in CoMo(where states was). The short version is: I’ve been winning a lot. That makes me very happy. I really love winning. So very much.

In terms of people, I’ve been seeing Mike Cowen-Nissen pretty much weekly, and he was here last friday when who should show up, but Jimbo! I saw him once at the shop a couple weeks ago when he stopped by not aware that someone he knew from high school worked here. We only talked a bit then, but last friday we were able to catch up fully on our lives since high school. He hadn’t heard about Tim’s situation, so I gave him the full rundown of everything I knew since the beginning. I’m ashamed to admit that I was relieved when I found out he was no longer in school. I don’t wish ill for him at all, I just always feel guilty when I hear about people i knew who are achieving and moving on to better things. It’s so petty, I know, but it’s the truth. I talked at him for awhile about relationships past and what I’d been doing since graduation in ’00, and what a few other people had been up to, like Jake and Nick. And he told me how he had filled the years since we last spoke. Apparently he tried his hand at military service, but eventually decided it wasn’t for him(I’m sure it isn’t, he just isn’t that kind of guy) and got an honorable discharge. Apparently now he just lives with his parents and doesn’t do much besides play bass and decide what he’s gonna do with his time in the long run. I’ve been there, minus the musical talent.

I have internet at the shop now. More will come later.

Again, I’ve waited too long between posts. Actually, I think I may just be jealous of the people whose entries I’ve been reading for the past hour – I wanna post too, dammit!

I really like my life right now. Every day I do a minimal amount of “work” running the storefront portion of Ogre’s Cards, and more and more I get to spend my time with people I like to hang out with. The St. Louis magic community seems to be full of the kind of people who are fun to be around, playing or not.

The Pre-Release was a blast and I think I somehow managed to make a really great impression on Glenn Cannon, the british judge who works for THE guy who runs the pre-releases and other tournaments throughout the midwest. Glenn called me the other day, he wanted my email and to invite me to judge at a GPT in Collinsville, IL. He said that he and Barrat Moy(THE guy) think I’m going to be “the next big thing in St. Louis.” This is fantastic. I may be able to make something of myself as a judge after all.

Im not happy about the lack of internet access at the shop or some of the conditions of my current living arrangement, but I’m always glad when I come to Vroman’s parent’s house. I’m currently posting on his mom’s comp. Every time I come here, it’s a hot shower, a delicious meal and a chance to check my mail. I know I’ll never catch up on my judge emails, but now I’m more motivated than ever.

I think I can put into words why I’m so content with my life right now: it’s the joy of anticipation. There’s so much that I’m looking forward to before the year is out, I plan to draft a LOT of Champions of Kamigawa, run more and larger tournaments at the shop, judge at least one Moy Event, and get done a number of other things that have been weighing on my mind. Right now, life seems so simple and easy, I wonder how I ever got it so wrong before.

A few regrets, though. I wish I had the availability to hang out at nick and jon’s condo, it sounds like a lot of interesting gatherings are happening there, and I know I’d enjoy just to watch it all unfold, plus I miss both nick and jon, though jon may come with S/A to visit sometime.

I suppose I’ve said enough for now. Back to the old e-mail.

So, it’s like, there’s finally a lot to say, and I wanna say it all.
First things first, tomorrow, friday the 21st i have my physical at Ford at 8 am. Apparently my getting hired at this point is all but a certainty. This is Good. As I recall, pay is in the neighborhood of $13/ hr which is pretty good for someone of my stature, i suppose. It still bothers me (rightly so) that i am near the four year anniversary of my high school graduation, and i have no job to speak of, no marketable skills, and only 8 completed college credit hours. So much for that potential everyone said i had all through my previous school career. Anyway, the Ford thing looks good, and I hope it won’t interfere with my other business opportunity: the Magic shop Vroman and i are opening somewhere within the next few months. This may turn out to be a career, though i find that thought rather depressing. At best it is an income for now, which is how i can describe most of my pastimes during the previous 4 years.

Next there is the housing thing. I have known nick and been close to him almost steadily for the past 9 years. The only time i have had less than monthly communication with him was at the tail end of HS when he went to Hazelwood, and then that following fall when he went off to SEMO and i got a job. He has his failings, but he is still one of my favorite people ever, and i am glad that we have been living together for the past year and a half.
Found out last weekend he’s moving out in 2 weeks.

I’m worried that i may not see him much, and that we may actually be growing apart for once, me with work at Ford, The Magic shop, living several miles away, and hopefully, school. I guess it won’t matter much in the grand scheme of things, but i hope i will have leave to visit him often. Showing up in person has always been the best way to keep in touch with him.

It’s looking very much like Vroman and I will be moving in to this house owned by his parents or grandparents, i’m not sure which. Either way, it needs a lot of work to pass code, or whatever, and if we fix it it looks like we may be able to stay there rent free, which will look very good for my bank account. The house exists in Kirkwood, just off manchester, down just a short way from where the shop will most likely be(the shop is actually in Webster Groves i think).

Last night i helped nick with a paper of his for his interpersonal communications class. I genuinely enjoyed helping him reword and reshape parts of it to make it better, and i’m really sorry that i have missed so much of that in college. Every time i talk to someone about something they’re working on for school and discover i know more about i than the person in the class, i always feel regret, like if i had done what i was supposed to, i could have gotten good grades in those classes and maybe been a tutor. I really like the idea of me as a tutor.

The guitar is coming along. I’m not playing as much as i should, but i’m having a good time with it. The opening bass line from “otherside” by RHCP is kinda hard to play, but i like the challenge. I’m also learning a few other VERY simple songs.

Saturday I went to three seperate “parties.” Things nick’s friends call “gatherings.”
I closed the shop early, as i am often instructed to do, at around 6 and went to Ogre’s house where he was having his 22nd birthday party. Not many people showed there, but Robert Shelli began to drink, so that was pretty fun. Then we went over to marc nolan’s house because there was another party there, but it turned out to be just something like a dozen people drinking and hanging out. I was there for a while. Then I came home and Fat John was here(he’s not fat at all anymore since he became a big herbivore, but it’s still fin to mock) watching tv with Nick. I went to my room and proceeded to begin the laundry, and when I came back, Andy and someone else(can’t remember) were here. Andy demanded that I go to Steve’s, where there is much DDRing because Steve has a hard pad. Andy wanted to see what I was capable of, I think, after so much of nick saying “oh yeah, he used to play it in the basement ALL THE TIME.” Which isn’t really a truthful thing to say, it’s just another one of his exaggerations. Now, at this point it’s about three in the morning, and I need to open the shop in nine hours, and I am still hoping for about eight good hours of sleep. Nevertheless, jonesing for a DDR fix (which I haven’t had since around the time Christine broke up with me) I agree to go, and plan on about 4 hours of sleep.
Surprisingly to all, including myself, I kicked ass at the Dancedancing. I’m totally out of shape and way past tired, but i still have plenty of talent and I danced Andy under the table. I knew I was out of shape mentally and physically and had played better than I did then, many times in the past, and i mentioned that which earned some ego-stroking to the tune of “So you used to like max combo on Maxx300, right?” I was flattered, knowing i was never quite that good. I also mentioned a couple of times how i hadn’t done that in months and Andy remembered the following day that he forgot to tell me “fuck you” for dancing so much better than him after not having played in a while. Either way. . .

Oh God. Nick just got home, and is now watching his STUPID transformers dvds which are assailing my ears, as his is the only computer hooked up to internet and so i must be in his room with the STUPID transformers to type my post. Lame.

Pretty much the only other thing I planned to write about is how I have decided, after months of pining, not to try to get another girlfriend. I don’t have the time, and I don’t even really see the point anymore. Sure it sates emotional turmoil for a time, but it always ends the same and I don’t think I even need that right now. I think I’ll feel better if I just ignore that part of my mind for a good long while. There’s a lot that went into this decision and in the end, sex is just not worth all the mindfuck I end up dealing myself. Ever seen the movie “streets of NY”?

Sweet sons of a motherless goat. this transformer dialog is pure trite. More than meets the eye my left foot.

Back to what I was saying. I was going to say something about the groundhog day phenomenon here, but i distracted myself with Super Smash Bros. Melee after typing the sentence before this one. Now i will talk about that.

Well, I want this to be about how I fancy myself VERY good at the original smash brothers for N64, and how I am awful at the new one for gamecube, but I think it’s actualy going to be about my competitive streak. You see, it is extremely important to me that I win. No matter the game, I hate to lose. There are occasions when losing is ok to me, but only when I feel I am outclassed by an opponent with a ridiculous amount of experience on me. No, on second thought, I pretty much only like losing to people I feel strategically inferior to, as I mentioned in my quiz. Losing is very frustrating for me when it is to an opponent whom I hold in any sort of contempt. Which returns me to smash brothers. In the original, I was very practiced and felt that my tactics would beat nearly any opponent, which turned out to be mostly true. however, this is not the case in the new game. It is SO different. The controls are slightly different, all the characters are more complex with a lot more balance to the power of their moves, and when Nick beats me at it, for some reason it bothers me. It’s kind of like when I beat Ogre at chess. ne game is ok, but when the victories start racking up in a very lopsided manner, one person begins to feel as if they are being toyed with as though they were a meal for a vastly superior predatory animal, before the feeding commences.

Wew. What a digression. Search google for “cat fan movie”. Funny clip. I recommend it. Not sure what else to say. There’s laundry to be done and ddr to be played yet, before I rest up for my physical tomorrow. guess I’ll sign off now.

Wow. What a Long Post.

OK, so this weekend is Regionals, which means I’ll be taking the road trip to Lincoln Nebraska with the Mangners. Not sure how I’ll do. I feel prepared, but then again, I think my deck is not the best choice, so i’m worried. I’ll just do my best. We leave friday night and get back sunday morning. tournament will be all day saturday. I anticipate a LOT of people.

More problems. My Guitar is awful. I’m new to this to begin with and with the guitar I have you have to push extra hard on the strings for it not to sound awful. it’s making it difficult to learn “Santeria” which involves covering all the strings in a given fret with one finger, like so many other songs, which I can’t really do yet. I feel like I am too weak physically to play well.

Plus I’ve been watching way too much tv when I have laundry to do, books to read, and a job to find. I decided I wasn’t going to pursue employment this week, because how bad does it look when your first week, you request the weekend off like you own the place. I’d be too uncomfortable with that, so I allow myself to procrastinate job-search. Oh, yeah and there’s dishes to do, and cleaning and stuff. Man. what a waste.

I must go though. it is time for Groceries.

What is the geekiest part of your music collection?
Definitely my Ookla the Mok, but my weird al and my simpsons cd’s probably help. i also have a physics lecture on CD

What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?
depends on what i’m in the mood for, though lately i’ve been snacking on pistachios a lot

What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?
not sure i have one, though i find leaving las vegas very depressing

If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
WOW! i really don’t see any need for that! i’m not so pompous, i just don’t have any major complaints.

Do you have a completely irrational fear?
Yes. apparently i am terrified that i will be at a party and someone will spike my drink with alcohol. i don’t drink alcohol.

What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moment?
i guess i flush. and apparently i have some kind of hand gesture, too.

Are you a pyromaniac?
i love fire, but i have self control. how boring, eh?

Do you have too many love interests?
seems like a strange question. i’ll say “definitely not.”

Do you know anyone famous?
yeah, i met one of the founding members of the Free State Project a few weeks ago.

Describe your bed:
talk about a long story.
long story short: my waterbed busted, so now i sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor next to it.

Spontaneous or plan?
This question is too broad. it varies. i like to have things planned, but i can be rather spontaneous at times.

Who should play you in a movie about your life?
this is a hard question. i’ll let the casting director decide that one.

Do you know how to play poker?
indeed.

What do you carry with you at all times?
wallet in left front pocket, keys and PDA in right front pocket, watch on right wrist(though i’m right-handed), and i always try to have a flashlight on me, besides the two on my keyring.

What do you miss most about being little?
Getting away with Irresponsibility. i love that liberty comes from the latin for “child.”

Are you happy with your given name?
It only occurs to me to question this when other people bring it up to me. I have always found names to be tremendously arbitrary. i think i rather like my name in fact.

How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?
not much, though i wouldn’t let them know how eager i was to sell right away, i’d try to bid ’em up a bit.

What color is your bedroom?
The walls are white, the carpet is beige. it’s not up to me, i live in an apartment. though i don’t much care either way.

What was the last song you were listening to?
Radiohead – No Surprises

Have you ever been in a play?
i was wilbur in our eighth grade production of “charlotte’s web” i am told i did well. i have blocked this from my mind for some reason. i can’t recall it at all.

Who is your best friend?
S/A

Have you ever been in love?
Yes.

Do you talk a lot?
I think i do. I’m pretty sure it’s not annoying, though, people seem to enjoy talking to me.

Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
For the most part, but that’s still not enough to motivate me.

Do transient, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?
No. call me a jerk, but either find them of no concern or amusing.

Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
absolutely.

Do you spend more time with your girlfriend/boyfriend or your friends?
i don’t have a gf right now, but i don’t have that many friends either, oh well.

What is your ideal marriage location?
I don’t have a preference. i am utterly indeifferent as long as my family is there.

Which musical instrument do you wish you could play?
Guitar first. then piano, then bass guitar, accordion after that. . .i wanna learn ’em all. too lazy

Favorite fabric?
cotton. cheap and easy. no extensive care and feeding instructions required.

Something you love and hate?
one thing that is both? dunno.

What kind of bedding do you use?
it varies, sometimes i sleep on a sleeping bag with comforter and pillow, other times my floor-bed is a complex layering that goes something like: small foam rubber matttress, sheet, me, comforter, better comforter. with multiple pollows about for the latter configuration.

Do you tell your friends about your sex life?
For the most part no. there are a few people who, if they ask, i will tell.

What’s the one language you want to learn?
Conversational Latin. Honestly i want to learn every language. just like william sidis. obsessed with that guy.

How do you eat an apple?
if a knife is at hand i prefer to cut it, if not i eat it like my grandfather ate it, so to speak.

What do you order at a bar?
water.

Have you ever pierced your body parts?
nope.

Do you have tattoos?
not a one.

Would you ever admit to having done plastic surgery any kind if confronted?
if i had it done i’m sure there would be a reason, and i wouldn’t be ashamed. i think. i can’t foresee the extenuating circumtances which would cause me to do that though.

What’s one of the “funniest” things you’ve ever done?
it’s a long story. ask me about it in person some time. HILARIOUS! seriously.

Do you drive stick?
what a shamelessly innuendo-worded question. i cannot drive a manual transmissioned car

What’s one trait you hate in a person?
I have a real problem with people who are genuinely stupid and closed minded. I also find i dislike people who are obviously “fake.”

What kind of watch(es) do you wear?
my watch is digital, it is a casio, and it has this thing attached to the side which tends to be a bit of a conversation peice. it looks like a laser and is actually a radiant thermo sensor. it measures, by detecting infrared radiation, the amount of heat coming off of whatever you point it at. it’s pretty accurate.

Most frivolous purchase?
you probably think i’m going to say the watch, but i have too many to narrow it down to just one. i consider the purchase of most of my material goods unnecessary and frivolous. sometimes i wish i could just move to a monastery some where and live as an ascetic(magic teaches me all my fancy words.)

Do you consider yourself materialistic?
yes, and i don’t particularly like that about myself.

What do you cook the best?
i make no palatable dishes. send help.

Favorite writing instrument?
mechanical pencil. very useful indeed.

Do you prefer to stand out or blend in?
blend in. so far it’s been working almost too well.

Do you have anything monogrammed?
not really. i wrote my name in sharpie on the bottom of my cup at work.

Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
Yes, but it’ll cost whoever wants to see it quite a bit of money.

What’s one car you will never buy?
a pickup truck ::shivers::

What kind of books do you like to read?
i’ve been forcing myself away from fiction lately, i’m trying to read things about politics, physics and paleoanthropology. all subjects which interest me greatly. well, not just paleoanthropology, but evolution in general.

If you won the lottery, what would you do?
quit my job, enroll myself full time at school, pay off all my mom’s bills, set up a trust fund for the future children i plan to have and commit myself to the relentless pursuit of self-actualization, whatever that means.
oh yeah, and invest like a fiend.

Burial or cremation?
buried, for traditions’ sake, but if something made that impossible, it wouldn’t bother me, after all: I’m Dead.

How many online journals do you read regularly?
zero. just typing that felt good.

What’s one thing you’re a sore loser at?
every game i lose to an opponent i feel is inferior. how contemptuous is that?

If you don’t like a person, how do you show it?
i am less responsive to discuccion with them, i try not to associate with them.

Do you cry in front of friends?
basically no.

What kind of first impression do you think you give to people?
friendly and non-threatening. stimulating conversationalist? i’d like to think that.

What’s one thing you like to do alone?
read. i give in to distractions too easily.

Are you a giver or a taker?
i try to be a giver, i feel bad when i am a taker.

What have you stolen before?
i was a total klepto when i was a little kid, since then i’ve gotten better, though the RIAA would classify me a demon.

When’s the last time you cried?
i don’t think i’ve cried since i saw steel magnolias for the first time a couple years ago. i really don’t cry very often in general.

Favorite communication method?
Face to face talk. nothin’ beats that in my book

How many drinks before you’re tipsy?
i never drink. personal choice.

Favorite kind of porn?
too personal.

Do you ever have to beg?
i have begged for things before. i’m not above it.

How often do you have sex?
as often as i can under my conditions. i will only have sex with someone i sincerely care about, and only when i feel they honestly want to and don’t feel pressured for any reason.

Have you ever done any illegal drugs?
no.

Do you think you’re cute?
sometimes i say things which could be construed as “cute.” the definition i’m using is the one meaning “several shades shy of ‘witty.'”

Do you have problems changing clothes in front of friends?
this doesn’t really come up very often, but i suppose not. basically.

What’s the most painful experience you’ve ever had?
My dad died when i was a senior in high school. sep 23. worst day of my life. worst week. He was a really nice guy. incredibly smart and funny. i feel sorry for people i care about now who never knew him, because i feel like they’re missing out.

Sorry to end on such a downer, but that’s where the survey took us! i hope this has been as fun and educational for you as it was for me.

End Communication.

I recently decided that there are entirely too many people posting completely useless information out there on the web. what greater purpose does it serve than airing the unimportant events of their day to people who may never have met them and, regardless, shouldn’t care? it was then that i decided i would NEVER post in my live journal, but simply use it to keep in contact with friends from real life whom i have no other means of contacting.
Later, and in an unrelated string of thoughts, it occurred to me that i am too unproductive in my life, and have plenty to say, but no decent means of recording my thoughts and views, much less publishing them for others to learn from or criticize. This surely is the most logical purpose of a live journal. I don’t plan on posting very often, as i rarely use the computer or the internet, but that may change once i get my machine up and running.