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I had the greatest 30 minutes of my life tonight. I wrote this for another site, but it works here too.

Check me out:

You Are 29 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view – and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what’s to come… love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You’ve had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You’ve been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

Every time I’ve ever told a girl she had my heart, or thought it, or written it, or had it been true without expressing it, the relationship has been ended by the person in whose possession I placed my world.
I leave a piece of my heart with every girl I ever care about romantically. I have truly loved them all. What I am left with is a fractured heart, a reduced ability to carry on and yet. . .
I find myself filled more than ever with a desire to move on, to dive into love if I should find it anew. I want it so bad that losing it makes me realize how wonderful it is to have and I just want it more than ever.
Christine never felt the way about me that I felt about her. I know that now. What’s important is that she knew how I felt, and she followed her heart, too. I am sad(CRUSHED!) that she and I are no longer together, but I keep thinking about what’s around the next bend –

Life will be great.

This is what I want. I occasionally make idle plans about how I would spend it if I won the lottery, but I never buy a ticket, since the odds are so heavily stacked against the player. Can’t I get the cash equivalent of winning without buying a ticket? It’s not asking much, I think.

And you better believe I would’ve handled it a little bit differently(ie, not paranoid idiot) if what happened to Sean Clifford had happened to me.

I find this to be basically accurate.

Zaxec took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! “Needs a peaceful environment. Wants release from s…” Click here to read the rest of the results.

(the “Mood:” field didn’t have enough room for “Much better since I talked to Sarah.” So I definitely couldn’t have then fit “I always feel better when I talk to her, it’s why I consider her my best friend.”

The cycle has entered the third iteration.

I am currently hammering out the specifics(all mentally of course, this is the first hard record) of a theory I have concocted regarding my allowable input and output capacities. I seem to have basically no limit for human input, though I have strangely discovered a few human beings I actually allow to get on my nerves. I have some strange limit for media input, at least as far as movies/tv shows go. Not sure exactly the details thereof.
My primary focus in this bizarre idea is my seeming output limit, particularly when it comes to writing. I seem to have a cap on my creative output, which is limited strictly by time. To put it another way, I can come up with only so much interesting stuff to speak or write about in a given period of time. This is not to say that I produce the same number of concepts daily, it must be a slightly longer scale than that before any average starts to appear, but I have noticed that the more I write, it seems the less I have to say. You might call this tautological, but I call it profound. This means that even my dynamic human intelligence(we all have that, I’m not being egotistical here[I’m talking about human problem solving and art and general creative potential]) is limited by a factor of time. This bothers me slightly, because I suspect that there is a hard cap which may be inescapable, I don’t know exactly why this should matter in a philosophical sense, but I hate the idea that whatever I write may be diminishing my capacity to write about anything else, at least for some amount of time.
And what I have said here certainly doesn’t seem to be much of a use of my limited creative output potential.

S/A, feel free to rip this theory to ragged shreds like so much worthless drivel, as it may be.

This week I:
-Saw Serenity, which was outstanding. I recommend it for anyone who liked the show(of course), and also for every other person in the world. I feel that anyone who fits these criteria should see it at least twice.
-Hung out with Nick and Sarah, and Jake as well for a bit. It was good times indeed. I tend to forget how much I miss my friends when I don’t see them for a while.
-Spent time with Christine on Monday. I probly won’t see her again until next Monday at the earliest. I have stated over and over again, and it only becomes more true with time, I LOVE BEING WITH HER. She knows it. By now, all of you know it, too.
-Practiced my guitar of course. I very rarely miss a day. It’s really not hard to become somewhat proficient at the guitar, all it takes is to play a little bit every single day. And it’s fun as hell to be able to play music for people.
-Cubed. I think I may be back under a minute. I’m getting better at the PLL algs I know, and will soon know all of them. The F2L is my current biggest stumbling block, as in, I need to do it faster.
-Smashed it up. Carlos is back in town, for good apparently, and he has always been the main catalyst behind us playing Super Smash Bros. in the shop.
-Saw a few South Park episodes I had never seen, my favorite of which being “The Biggest Douche in the Universe” – the one about John Edward. That episode was so amazing. It also caused me to
-Read Wikipedia entries for Cold reading and the Forer Effect. This led me also to Wikipedia’s list of cognitive biases which is very interesting. I also
-Sent away for a NOFX hoodie which better get here soon, or I will surely freeze.
That’s about it.

I just googled my name, “Josh Smith” and it was worse than I thought. After 17 pages of the basketball player, with a few sprinkled links to the teenage blues guitarist and a knife salesman, and a Chemistry Professor, I found, halfway down page 18, a reference to yours truly, which I didn’t even put on the internet! This is a page on a website with many magic decks, sortable by creator(or at least pilot) and you can see my name and two of the decks I played when I posted my two greatest magic career accomplishments. The third result for decks “created” by Josh Smith pertains to the fella who won GP Houston in 2002(I know the site says ’01: it is wrong). That’s right. Another magic player with my name who also has a better lifetime achievement at the game. PTGT told me that he played against another Josh Smith at GP SLC a few weeks ago. This means that I am but one of three Josh Smiths who play this game at or near the highest level of competitive play. GT said “Nice name, idiots” which I laughed at quite a bit.
So, what with at least one magic player with my name, and a guitar player with my name who are both apparently much better than me at their particular craft, I may have a hard time distinguishing myself in this world. It’s a good thing my sunny dispostion is more powerful than my competitive streak, otherwise I might be pushed to A)Work so hard I couldn’t help but to beat one or more people with my name at their own game, or B)Give up entirely. Like I said, good thing I’m such an optimist. It lets me relax and take life easy.

Ooh, here’s some more of me. This one’s from page 53 of the google results. The card store where that took place is no longer in business, and neither is the one that came after it. I work in the one that came after that.